How Becoming a Mother Changed Me, My Life, and Dahil Bar

In the beginning, finding time for myself was hard. Really hard. When you’re caring for a new baby, your own routines can disappear surprisingly quickly. There is always something that needs your attention, and taking care of yourself can easily move to the bottom of the list.

For a while, I struggled to create any kind of self-care routine. Over time, though, I started making small adjustments; nothing dramatic. Just finding little pockets of time that belonged to me again. I’ve learned that self-care doesn’t always have to look like an entire spa day or hours of uninterrupted quiet.

• Sometimes it’s taking a shower without rushing.
• Sometimes it’s sitting quietly for a few minutes.
• Sometimes it’s putting the phone away.
• Sometimes creating a calmer space really does come down to a few thoughtful details.
• Sometimes it’s lighting one of my candles after a long day and allowing the fragrance and soft light to change the feeling of the room.

Those little rituals mean more to me now than they did before motherhood. Maybe that’s because my time is different now.
When you don’t have unlimited time for yourself, you start appreciating ten peaceful minutes in an entirely different way.

One of the biggest surprises about becoming a mother has been discovering my own strength; I don’t mean that every day feels easy; it definitely doesn’t.

There are days when I’m tired, days when the list feels endless, days when I’m trying to figure out how everything is possibly going to fit into 24 hours. But somehow, I’ve found a balance.

• I am a mom to my sweet Valentina.
• I have my full-time career in digital marketing.
• I continue building Dahil Bar.
• I’m creating candles, developing ideas, managing responsibilities, taking care of my family and, little by little, remembering to take care of myself too.

Before becoming a mother, I’m not sure I realized how much I was capable of carrying: Motherhood showed me.

It has helped me discover a stronger version of myself, not because I suddenly have everything figured out, but because I’ve learned how to adjust when life changes. I’ve learned that balance doesn’t mean giving everything the exact same amount of attention every day.

• Some days Valentina needs more of me.
• Some days work demands more.
• Some days Dahil Bar gets my creative energy.
• And some days I need to give a little of that energy back to myself.

I’m learning to be okay with that.

When I think about who I was before motherhood and who I am today, I still recognize the same ambitious woman who loves creating, working, planning, and making things happen.

• She’s still here.
• But she’s different.
• She’s learning to slow down.
• She’s learning to appreciate the moments that don’t appear on a to-do list.
• She’s learning that taking care of herself isn’t selfish.
• She’s learning to build a business around her life rather than trying to build her life around a business.
• And she’s learning that she is much stronger than she realized.

Most importantly, I get to experience all of this while watching my little rainbow baby grow; Valentina changed my life for the better. She made me a mother, but in many ways, she also helped me discover a new version of myself: as a woman, a business owner, a professional, a creator, and a mom.

And when I see her face at the end of a long day, everything lights up again; she is my little star, and I will always be grateful to be her mom.